It's Just Wrong, I say!

I literally feel like it's just wrong, wrong, wrong of them to even let me back on the internet! Well, not exactly back on..I've been on, just not 'blogging' on. I'm thinking it's going to take 50 or so posts to catch up. What's new..you say? Honestly, I'm not sure. On paper I'm still the same person in the same situation of life. Which seems odd, given the chaos and craziness that is every day. Doesn't it seem as though there would be more concrete changes? I guess not. Now that I'm not seeing this blogging thing as a money-making tool, it's really relieved the pressure so I can just be myself. Doubtful there will be many who read this and that's fine (although just in case..I've tried to keep the innocent nameless :-). Perhaps this is where the (albeit anonymously) soul-searching begins.

Having a midlife crisis? Yes, in a manner of speaking. Old enough to be having one? Probably not. I take that back...yes, I think I'm actually old enough. How the hell did that happen? I feel like lately, this is the epitome of my life...how did I get to this place? Is this really what I signed up for? Am I happy with this?

Not quite up for pondering anything this deep at this particular moment..at least not without a huge fatty (which I do not do), an entire pack of smokes (which I gave up), or several glasses of wine (which is difficult to drink living with an alcoholic.) Looks like I'll have to get back to you...

Coming Back

I know, I know... it's been forever. I'm changing a few things on the blog. Not changing things exactly, just moving a couple things around so I can come back. Be back soon!!

What I'm Thankful For

There's a lot to be thankful for these days...I certainly am thankful for food, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, my health and family. But if I had to make a quick list of specifics, these would rate up near the top:

I am thankful for:

* Execedrin Migraine medicine
* Peeing by myself (even if it's after they go to bed..it counts!)
* A good glass of Cab...even if it's in a plastic cup so they won't break it
* The candy stash the kids don't know about
* $2 a gallon gas
* Onion Rings
* My dishwasher..it's not fancy, but does its job
* Spray N' Wash..if that doesn't get it out I'm thankful for bleach
* Boys who are old enough to pick up dog poop
* Nightlights; running a sick child to the bathroom in the middle of the night is easier
* DVR's..what did we ever do before them?
* Good days at school
* Sunglasses big enough to cover the bags under your eyes

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Holiday Babies

I guess it's fitting, given that I am a holiday baby of sorts that I would have my own holiday birthday child. I grew up with the dual gifts and the Christmas tree not going up until 10 days before Christmas to 'honor' my birthday. At least my daughter is a Thanksgiving and not Christmas baby. The one that came the day after her mother cooked Thanksgiving dinner for 20..great planning on my part. Trying to put together a birthday in the midst of a holiday sucks. Especially this year. With me trying to transition from stay-at-home mommy to mommy that works dropping the ball all over the place is difficult, at best. This year my motto is 'you're lucky you're getting a party in the first place'. All the previous handmade invitations, homemade fire engine birthday cakes, lovingly put together treat bags are out the window. This year is more like 'great, we found a place with a cancellation', running to the dollar section for Princess favors and evite invitations that went out a week before the party. So here I sit in a panic of mommy-guilt that comes with the wonder if anyone will come. I've had 2 RSVP's and a maybe. One 'yes, we can make it' phone call came with my daughter in the bath. The conversation went something like this:

Me (on the phone, but telling my daughter): Guess what, Christine is coming to your birthday party.

My Baby Girl: But I didn't invite Christine mommy

Me: Isn't that great she can come!

My Baby Girl: (Crying and starting to scream) I DON'T LIKE CHRISTINE..I DON'T WANT HER AT MY PARTY!!!!

Can you imagine my face..as I'm still on the phone with Christine's mom! I wanted to pull my daughter out of the bath and scream at her how lucky she is that someone she knows is coming! I gave out a bunch of invites to her classmates, hoping the odds were with me since I was so late...and this is what I get! At this point, she doesn't get to be choosy. I'm ready to start pulling anyone off the street who is somewhere in the vicinity of the toddler years and shove them in a party room. I can picture it now..."Mommy, who are these people"..."Mommy gave you a Meet New Friends party, sweetie". Anyone free this Sunday? Have kids? Nieces? Nephews? A 3 year old who lives a few doors down? You're welcome to come!!

Competition

This began as some thoughts on competition in business, but I had to post here on a more personal level. Topic: women and competition. Throughout our history of trying to break through the glass ceiling, women have struggled on so many levels. The responsibilities, fears and freedoms of being a woman, wife, mom. Let's face it, as women we have so much on our plate. Regardless of how many children you have, being a mom is tough...the lack of time for yourself, the endless tasks to complete..whether it be school involvement, a job outside the home, finances, shuttling kids to playdates and practices, teaching the lessons important in life and keeping them generally out of trouble. We all know that our job is not just a matter of bringing home a paycheck (bitchy comment, yes..but we're venting here) The whole 50/50 thing is more like 80/20 if we're lucky...and that's if you're married. In the chaos that is our lives, it seems that we could come together and help each other out. Why are the stay at home moms always thinking that working moms have it easier, and vise-versa? We are all moms...we are all women. We all want the same things. Instead of tearing each other down..let's support each other in our dreams, as well as our responsibilities. The national women's conference was last month hosted by Maria Shriver with some amazing women speaking on issues we all face. It's refreshing to hear powerful women speaking of the difficult times they have with their own children, and day-to-day challenges. A friend of mine went and wrote about some of the important ideas that stayed with her. It was really stiring to me so I wanted to share a portion of it:

Arnold Schwarzenegger & Warren Buffet spoke... and agreed that more equality is still needed for women in politics. Elections this year have shown America is ready for change! Enormous intellectual and conscientious role by women is not new but more appreciated now than in the past.

Maria Shriver, First Lady of California... What are you going to do with your one wild and precious life? Usually it is fear that holds us back from fear to freedom. If you do not feel fear, you don't feel courage. You cannot wait until the fear goes away to take action. The fear goes away when you take action. She shared a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: "Staying in fear keeps you from believing in yourself. You must do one thing every day that scares you." Stop, slow down and connect. Nurture one another. We are here to love one another, connect and sea. Listening is love. We empower. As moms, we are doing our best.

Christiane Amanpour, CNN was so interesting and insightful speaking about how women can be the architects of change... There are more women elected to high office in other countries than in the United States. We expect the best and the brightest in every profession so why not with politics and with journalists. We need to use success and power to create change both locally and nationally.

Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State was so right when she said... Women need to help other women! She also went on to talk about how wrong it is for women to bring each other down. She also spoke about how to be effective and active without being angry. Respect the women before you that have been the generations of change.

Dr. Condoleezza Rice, United States Secretary of State shared... we need to continue to teach girls that they can be anything if we are going to continue to break through the glass ceiling. Don't let someone else define who you "ought to be". Do what you love. There needs to be equal access to education for everybody. It does not matter where you came from, it matters where you are going.

Indra Nooyi, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer, PepsiCo... The glass ceiling will be broken when all women help other women. Women need to learn to trust other women.

Cherie Blair, Human Rights Advocate and Wife of Former Prime Minister Tony Blair said... Change comes when men and women work together equally. Being more subtle as an advocate is more effective. Do it as a woman... We do not have to do it the same way as a man. Find your voice and let it be a woman's voice.

The final messages I left with were...

Use your voice to change the world!

Women need to learn to trust other women.

What are you going to do with your

one wild and precious life?

Don't you just want to kill her!!

Sent my sister-in-law an email I had gotten about a photographer in her area taking Christmas pictures this weekend really cheap (I of course, haven't gotten a picture yet of my own little rascals). Love her to death, but she had pictures taken several weeks ago, ordered the cards, has them sealed up in the envelopes already with more than half of her Christmas shopping done! A wonderful reminder of how organized I was with only one child. Fine, my mind is like a sieve and I'm not sure I was ever that organized but it sounds good. Now yes, she still have lots of other things going on, and I'm really happy for her she's ahead of the game. I always say I'll be so I can enjoy the holiday with my kids..but every holiday just seems like chaos regardless of how early I prepare. I'm still up at 3am on Christmas Eve wrapping a gazillion stocking stuffers. While motherhood of any number is a challenge, I thought I'd take a look back at the pros and cons. I still secretly know I've got it easier than many when I think of my friend with SEVEN..all ages 9 and under (if that's not something that would send me drinking out of a paper bag, I don't know what would!) But, I look at her life and her large, close family and also know how lucky they are. Here we go:

Pros of Having ONE child:

• Huge possibility of getting your body back - even if it takes a while, it comes back
• Greater chance of not losing one in a store - one fits neatly in a cart. More than one, gives one the opportunity to hide between the racks while the others provide a distraction
• Easier to pull one over on - older siblings always ruin it for the younger ones..with the 9 year old saying in front of his tearful 3 year old sister "I really don't think there's a Santa..what about the fakes at the mall?"
• Less noise in the car
• Less noise in the house
• Less noise

Cons on having ONE:

• I'm still thinking..I'll get back to you on this one
  

Pros of having lots of them:

• Making the older ones play hide and seek with the little one so you can shower (also a con when that little one goes outside by himself to look for his brother while you're in the shower)
• People believe you when you use the 'insanity' plea.
• When at the doctor, you get in and out faster - they normally don't want to inflict the chaos, fighting and noise on the other patients in the waiting room.
  
• Better chance of at least one turning out normal

Cons on having many:

• Picking your breasts off the floor to put in your bra when you get dressed
• Having your kids think you're a road map because of all the stretch marks
• A moment to yourself means you have to hide in the closet (especially if you want to eat chips or candy) and even then you have about 90 seconds (I've timed it)

Yes, we all have our own challenges regardless of number of kids. Let me know yours..I'd hate to think I'm alone in the chaos!!

I'm a Marilyn!

Take the female icon test and find out who you are! I am a Marilyn...

You are a Marilyn -- "I am affectionate and skeptical."

Marilyns are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Be direct and clear
• * Listen to me carefully
• * Don't judge me for my anxiety
• * Work things through with me
• * Reassure me that everything is OK between us
• * Laugh and make jokes with me
• * Gently push me toward new experiences
• * Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Marilyn

• * being committed and faithful to family and friends
• * being responsible and hardworking
• * being compassionate toward others
• * having intellect and wit
• * being a nonconformist
• * confronting danger bravely
• * being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Marilyn

• * the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
• * procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
• * fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
• * exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
• * wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
• * being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

Marilyns as Children Often

• * are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
• * are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
• * form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
• * look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
• * are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Marilyns as Parents

• * are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
• * are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
• * worry more than most that their children will get hurt
• * sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Leave a comment and let me know who you are!