Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Visits From "Your Little Friend"

I would love to know why the hell they call my period "my little friend"?? Frankly, I'd rather have dinner with my sworn enemies shoving bamboo shoots under my fingernails while blaring some sort of techno-freak music in my ears than deal with my period. I was literally in the convenience store an hour ago like a junkie, spending $30 on Coke, 5 pounds of chocolate, sugary candy, and a can of Pringles...yes, I spent fifteen minutes in the candy aisle collecting necessities. At least it was not a midnight run for tampons. Thankfully, I have been married long enough that if my husband's going to the store and I scream out for a box of Kotex Supers, he's coming home with them. Those first few years of embarassment and unwillingness to get my 'feminine products' are over. I've beaten him down. He probably makes the kids get it off the shelf and hide it in the cart under the Cheerios, but who's complaining...he brings them home! At least my boys are in training early on the subject of how to treat a woman once a month. Poor things..they are used to mommy's neurotic rantings several days a month. I think there should be a place we can go during our periods...a whole service industry geared toward women on their periods. Our own padded room. Chick movies, lots of kleenex, wine and chocolate. We check in for 3 days and come home refreshed. I love the idea! Somebody open one, please...I know my husband would think it's worth every cent!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

The Second Day of School

OK, ladies...we're finally to the second day of school. Yay!!! You know what I'm talking about. Yesterday was spent taking the first day of school pictures, waiting to watch them walk into their classrooms, getting there early to pick them up (yes, the only time that happens during the year), making the 'special snack' after they get home. Then, of course is the 20 page packet to fill out the first night with the tears that come from "not getting the prize" if they don't bring it back the next day..times however many kids you have! Now that the first day's over, you know you're as excited as I am for the second day. Fine, it's not like they're in a routine yet. But come that second's momma time. This is what the stay-at-home mom lives for. Even if it's only for one day, the fact that you get to come home, leave the dishes in the sink for an hour and grab a cup of coffee is like FREEDOM!! I got the coffee, a danish, put my feet up and called my best girlfriend. I unashamedly sat and did nothing but chat with her on the phone for one hour! When else do we ever get an entire hour with no interruptions, no screaming for milk or laundry to do, or fighting to break up? It was glorious. I spend an entire year looking forward to the second day of school. So go on girls, grab that cup..get on the phone, read a magazine, fulfill your stereotype of bon-bon eating, Oprah watching, stay-at-home momdom! At least for an hour, then you'd better get out something for dinner and throw in a load of wash :-)