Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Visits From "Your Little Friend"

I would love to know why the hell they call my period "my little friend"?? Frankly, I'd rather have dinner with my sworn enemies shoving bamboo shoots under my fingernails while blaring some sort of techno-freak music in my ears than deal with my period. I was literally in the convenience store an hour ago like a junkie, spending $30 on Coke, 5 pounds of chocolate, sugary candy, and a can of Pringles...yes, I spent fifteen minutes in the candy aisle collecting necessities. At least it was not a midnight run for tampons. Thankfully, I have been married long enough that if my husband's going to the store and I scream out for a box of Kotex Supers, he's coming home with them. Those first few years of embarassment and unwillingness to get my 'feminine products' are over. I've beaten him down. He probably makes the kids get it off the shelf and hide it in the cart under the Cheerios, but who's complaining...he brings them home! At least my boys are in training early on the subject of how to treat a woman once a month. Poor things..they are used to mommy's neurotic rantings several days a month. I think there should be a place we can go during our periods...a whole service industry geared toward women on their periods. Our own padded room. Chick movies, lots of kleenex, wine and chocolate. We check in for 3 days and come home refreshed. I love the idea! Somebody open one, please...I know my husband would think it's worth every cent!

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